When I think of the healing journey, theoretically, I envision it as this warm, fuzzy, gentle process filled with fluffy bunnies and clouds made of cotton candy. When I actually experience the healing journey, truly live it and not try to sidestep it, I am reminded that healing usually begins with a gaping wound.
Years ago, I chose not to listen to the subtle whispers telling me to stop drinking. Instead, what I experienced was what I call a 2 x 4 lesson. (Turn to blog 2. for more) The universe could not get my attention with my quiet intuition, and so they slap me upside my head with that proverbial 2 x 4. This presented itself in the form of a broken ankle, an emergency surgery two days before Christmas, and a plate and five screws which all nearly cost me my life.
The wound was gaping, and the healing began. I was aware enough to understand that this was a lesson, some might even say a gift. Actually, in some ways, I consciously called this in. I remember during that time of my life I was completely stressed out, and I kept saying 'Give me a break. Give me a break!' I was also death gripping the steering wheel of life, trying to force every component of my life and business into existence. Ultimately, the universe said, sit down and shut up! We’ve got this. Not only did my ankle need to break, but my ego did too. I leaned into my couch, a book in one hand, the TV remote in the other, and began to heal.
During this particular healing phase, the fuzzy bunnies were nowhere to be seen. I was steeping in depression, helplessness, and rainy, rainy days. There was a sweet little fuzzy squirrel that had a lesson for me one day. It was the first day my husband had to return back to work after nursing me and my ankle for a couple of weeks. I knew the day was going to be tricky because I was completely dependent on one of those very awkward knee carts. I had to navigate getting my children to school, my dog pottied and fed, and figure out how to feed and get myself water as well.
It was one of those bizarrely warm Januarys where it rained quite a bit. On this particular day, though it had snowed overnight so we had a blanket of fresh white in the backyard. Thankfully, a sweet friend of mine, who is no longer with us, offered to bring me lunch that day. It was mid morning, the kids made it to school and I was settling in the back room, ready to watch something mindless when I heard something that resembled small firecrackers in my backyard. I looked back through my window and there was that sweet, fluffy squirrel sitting in the tree proudly observing the results of his actions. He had just thoroughly chewed through a set of bistro lights I had hanging from my tree. The firecracker sound was a series of glass bulbs shattering in the snow on my patio. In a matter of seconds, this fluffy little squirrel literally shattered my world.
Here was the dilemma. The only way I could let my dog out to go to the bathroom was through the back door which opened out to this patio that currently had shattered glass sprinkled through the fresh blanket of snow. Holy shit. What was I going to do?? My foot felt like a throbbing fiery bowling ball wrapped in gauze. There was no way I could get down on my hands and knees in the snow to sweep up the glass. My friend who was bringing me lunch was a massage therapist and was still at work. I knew her phone was on silence.
Thank God for friends who are also neighbors. I picked up my cell phone, prayed, and dialed my friend Kari‘s number. She answered, I explained, and she was over in a heartbeat. I don’t remember all the details, but I vaguely remember a broom, a vacuum, and lots of glass and snow. My lesson? Trust and surrender; Let go. AND this is not a journey to be done alone.
Question: Whether they are physical or emotional, wounds are painful and messy and require so much compassion, love, and tenderness. They can also be opportunities for healing and growth. Do you have any gaping wounds that need love and space for healing? What about past wounds, physical or emotional, that are marked with scars? Do these need to be revisited and massaged with warm oil to release some of the restriction and rigidity?
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